Explain to students that the brain relies on chemical messengers called neurotransmitters to send messages to other parts of the body and enables us to express our emotions.  Insufficient or out-of-balance neurotransmitters can produce mood swings, anxiety, and depression. Drugs and alcohol can play a major role in the imbalance of these important chemical messengers.

It is important for young people to understand that, when a drug is taken, it acts as an artificial neurotransmitter.  When alcohol is consumed, for example, it substitutes for endorphins, the neurotransmitters that significantly affect mood, causing the brain to produce less of its own natural endorphins.  Like alcohol, all drugs that replace neurotransmitters cause the brain to produce less of its own natural chemical messengers.  This can have lasting effects on mood and other important brain processes long after the drug is used.

Talk with students about what kind of affects commonly-used drugs can have on their brains and their ability to control their anger and other emotions:

1. Marijuana: Marijuana replaces the natural receptor for serotonin, a neurotransmitter responsible for aggressive behavior, sleep, and hunger, therefore causing an imbalance in the brain.  The brain signals that it has too much serotonin and stops producing it.  When the drug wears off, the brain does not have enough serotonin, which consequently causes withdrawal symptoms, such as insomnia, fatigue, depression, and mood swings.  All of these could affect a young person’s ability to control their anger.
2. Alcohol: Alcohol also alters serotonin levels and substitutes for endorphins, therefore causing an imbalance in the brain.  The brain signals that it has excess endorphins and slows down its natural production of them.  When alcohol wears off, the brain does not have enough endorphins to relieve normal, everyday pain.  Students are less likely to deal with their anger responsibly when in pain or feeling sick.
3. Cocaine: Cocaine releases excess dopamine, the neurotransmitter responsible for controlling moods and feelings of pleasure, into the brain.  This  blocks the gates where natural dopamine would enter a cell for up to 72 hours and causes some of the natural dopamine to be lost, thus damaging a person’s ability to feel pleasure.  When the drug wears off, users are often unable to feel pleasure, happiness, or other emotions, and become severely depressed.  This can significantly alter someone’s ability to control and express their emotions, including anger.

By teaching students about the ways that drugs and alcohol affect their ability to manage anger, we are equipping them with the knowledge they need to understand the chemical processes behind their emotions and the ways that artificial substances can affect them.  And, most importantly, we give them one more reason to stay away from harmful drugs in the first place.

Click HERE for more information on Susan Fitzell’s Anger Management Curriculum for Teens!

The post Effects of Drugs and Alcohol on Anger Management appeared first on Susan Fitzell.

How that plan takes shape depends on the teacher and paraprofessional dynamic. For example, a teacher may want to take the lead in addressing any student behavioral issue, while the para steps back from the situation. Or, the teacher may empower the para to smooth things out and step in if the behavior issue isn’t resolved quickly.

Communication is important in determining how teachers and paraprofessionals handle classroom behavior issues. If it’s possible to meet and plan ahead of time, the teaching team can address many questions about student behavior and come up with their own plan of action.

Areas for paraprofessionals and teachers to discuss:

• What are the classroom expectations (i.e., classroom rules) for students and adults?
• How are classroom expectations communicated to the students?
• What is the plan to address unacceptable student behavior in a timely manner?
• What are the specific roles of the adults in the room in supporting positive student behavior?
• How will we be consistent in managing behavior?
• How can the paraprofessional support the teacher in maintaining authority?
• What is the paraprofessional’s level of authority in addressing behavioral issues?
• What are our pet peeves? What student behavior pushes our buttons? What can we not tolerate in the classroom?
• If our discipline style is very different, where can we find common ground?

Of course, even the best plan of action will be tested in the classroom environment. When your plan for handling a student behavioral issue doesn’t work, when things seem a bit chaotic, teachers and paraprofessionals alike need to be nimble and shift to a new strategy. In this case, the teacher will take the lead—as a paraprofessional, it’s important to support the teacher’s decision (as long as it doesn’t conflict with your values).

Paraprofessionals, remember these tips to keep the team working smoothly together:

• Respect and support the role defined for you by the teacher, especially when dealing with a classroom behavior issue. The teacher will take the lead in most cases.
• Mirror the teacher’s classroom management style (unless it violates your values). If it’s a style you are not comfortable with, try to discuss positive solutions.
• Discuss issues and solutions with each other privately, especially when the issue is related to a student.

Want more great ways to maximize the effectiveness of paras in your classroom? CLICK HERE Now!

Bring Susan to your campus!

Featured seminar – Paraprofessionals And Teachers Working Together in the General Classroom

Would you like to reprint this article, or an article like it, in your newsletter or journal?
CLICK HERE to visit the articles page.

The post Paraprofessionals: Handling Student Behavioral Issues in the Classroom appeared first on Susan Fitzell.

Jane and I are on the same page. I love her work and her strategies for working with youth. I was doing some research tonight for a new book I’m writing on motivation and included some of her ideas regarding offering youth choices. Her book, The Win-Win Classroom, as well as all her other writing is insightful and practical.

http://janebluestein.com/2012/guidelines-for-offering-choices-to-students/

The post Guidelines for Offering Choices to Students appeared first on Susan Fitzell.

Not too long ago,  I was interviewing a student who was struggling in all of his classes. His behavior was disruptive and, consequently, he was frequently removed from class. I was brought in to review his files and create a complete profile and recommendations. After striking up a conversation with this young man, I told him that I would be talking with his teachers. I asked, “If there was one thing that you’d want me to tell your teachers, something that might help you, what would it be?”

Without hesitation he replied, “Teachers need to draw pictures more.” I asked him to elaborate. He explained, “Yesterday, my science teacher was teaching about waste treatment plants. She talked and talked and talked. It was so boring and hard to understand. If I were her, I would have drawn a picture of what she was describing on the board.” He then took a paper and pencil and drew a diagram for me. He slid it across the table to me and explained what he drew. “That’s what I wish she’d do. It would really help me to understand better.”

I was in awe at his forthrightness and ability to immediately tell me what he needed from his teachers. I did share that information with them and when I returned six weeks later, they said he was a totally different kid. I asked what was different. They smiled and said, “We are drawing and using more pictures.”

The Feedback Box

So, how can we provide a safe way for students to share how they learn best?
Have a “Feedback Box.” Tell students, no matter their age, “Anytime I use a strategy in a way that you believe it helps you to learn, write me a little note telling me what worked and put it in the Feedback Box.” For example, “Drawing pictures in class today really helped me to learn, Mrs. Fitzell.” “Singing that song helped me to remember that formula.” With this type of feedback, I was able to better understand how to help individual students learn.

Don’t stop with your classroom

Tell students, “If you go to another classroom and work with another teacher, or if you do something at home that helps you to learn, put that in the feedback box, too!

What we end up with is powerful feedback from students about their learning style that we might never get any other way. It gives us a little bit more information to use in our classrooms.

Parents Benefit from the Feedback Box Too!

Parents could also implement the “Feedback Box” at home. How often do parents ask, “What did you learn in school today?” and the reply is, “Nothing.” Encourage youth to write what they learned (or their favorite learning activity) down on a sticky note and put it in the Feedback Box.

For more information about study strategies for your student, see Susan Fitzell’s book, Ummm, Studying? What’s That?. Available in both print and electronic versions!

Would you like to reprint this article, or an article like it, in your newsletter or journal?
CLICK HERE to visit the articles page.

The post A Safe Way for Students to Share How They Learn Best appeared first on Susan Fitzell.

One of my first memories was hearing the words, “Kathy, sit still!” and my mother pinching me as I tried to sit through a church service. I preferred playing outdoors and was constantly moving. My favorite activity was swinging because I was in constant motion. If I was sitting, my legs were moving.

Then, I started school and somehow survived first grade. We seemed to be up and about pretty frequently AND my innovative teacher let us go to the restroom whenever we needed to, without asking for permission! I know this saved me, but it was also in first grade that I learned that chattering kept my mind off the need to move. Now I had two problems!

In second grade, I remember being put out into the hallway, OFTEN. It was usually the same time every day, which I now understand. During third grade, I clearly remember being told to sit “down” – I was in my seat, but sitting on my knees. In fourth grade, I was repeatedly sent to the principal’s office and, in fifth grade, I was sent to the book room, or outside.

Let me add here that when I entered first grade, I was under weight. By fourth grade I was fat! I don’t know how much I weighed, but I was embarrassingly fat! Now I had a third problem! The bottom line is that, throughout elementary school, I was embarrassed and humiliated by being singled out in front of, and removed from, my peers. Why? Because I could not sit still, which led to my losing focus and subsequent talking. Did this make me a fat person? I don’t know, but being fat dealt another huge blow to my ego!

No one knew how my self esteem suffered, however, because I became the class clown. In junior high and high school, I developed amazing social skills! I was involved in activities that kept me out of the classroom. Teachers accepted me as a mediocre student and frequently told my mother, “There’s just something about Kathy you can’t help but like.” No one ever encouraged me academically. What appeared to be my lack of interest and focus was attributed to my hyperactivity and my being so loquacious (A word I learned at a very young age). I decided to go to college because, “Why not?” College class schedules work well for people like me, if we go to class. Unfortunately, I didn’t go much in the beginning, but somehow managed to graduate in four and a half years.

As an adult, my leg movement has become much worse and affects my sleep. Once, I went five days and nights without a moment of sleep. Finally, a name was given to this horrible condition: Restless Leg Syndrome. Many people who suffer from RLS, also suffer from Perodic Limb Movement. PLM usually occurs while a person is sleeping, and the person is unaware of it. My PLM occurs while I’m awake, any time day or night. My arms are also affected. As an adult, I’ve developed coping skills. I’ve learned to stand at the back of the room during meetings, at the exit during movies, and I medicate myself before getting on a plane or into a car for road trips. My truest friends understand and accommodate for me.

Also, I now understand that I’m a kinesthetic learner. My interpersonal and intrapersonal skills are my strengths. Let me lead a group or teach, and I excel. Had my teachers recognized my need to move, many problems could have been avoided. Simply standing up would have made a huge difference. I do much better when working with manipulatives. I write constantly when a person is lecturing, even if I later throw away the notes. Group projects tend toward more movement, as do skits, oral presentations, and art projects.

Every day, in classrooms all over the country, students are expected to sit, for long periods of time, yet many are simply not able to do so! Most teachers have received training on learning styles and multiple intelligences, and yet, many continue to teach exactly how they were taught. They prefer to do the talking. They like desks in straight rows, and they do not want kids milling around in their classrooms. Unintentionally, these teachers are harming the self esteem of their students and making it difficult, or sometimes impossible, for those students to learn. It’s time time, to take the time, to recognize your students learning styles and accommodate them appropriately!

I also see great things. My grandson’s first year teacher, for instance, quickly recognized his need to move. She has given him a stopwatch and shows him how long a task should take. Now that he knows how long he has to stay seated and on task, life is good. He is also the teacher’s helper, which allows him to move about frequently.

Let me close by stating clearly and loudly; sitting in a hallway, book room, the principal’s office, or anywhere else outside the classroom never stopped my need to move, but I learned NOTHING while away from the instruction and educational activities I should never have been excluded from. Teachers, pay attention to your students’ patterns of behavior and take the time to identify the reasons for those behaviors. Then use good teaching techniques to differentiate and accommodate your instruction, where appropriate, rather than simply excluding those who must move from their peers, the environment of learning, and benefit of your teaching.

*Kathy Wright is a retired special education teacher of 30+ years who now consults with schools and districts on special education compliance and instructional strategies.  Kathy is the owner of Wright’s Solutions for Special Education. She can be reached at kewright@sbcglobal.net.

The post Managing Movement in Your Classroom – An Adult’s Story appeared first on Susan Fitzell.

[fusion_builder_container hundred_percent=”yes” overflow=”visible”][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”]

Words that screamed, “I AM A VICTIM!”

The year was 1987. She was a foster child, unwanted by her natural parents, at odds with her foster mother. The deck was stacked against her. I wanted to take her shopping to buy her decent clothes. If she had a decent haircut and learned to apply a little makeup, maybe she wouldn’t draw such negative attention to herself.

But then, she’d still open her mouth. Out from her mouth came all the words that screamed, “I AM A VICTIM!” Her manner, style, and body language reinforced this image. Kennie was a scapegoat, a target for all other insecure people to taunt and use to get spare change, petty favors, and a good laugh.

One day, I watched as an older, larger aggressive girl verbally took Kennie apart and left her in pieces on the classroom floor. My directives for the verbal attack to end went unheeded. The audience was thrilled with the display the two presented. Kennie ran away. She ran out of the classroom, out of the building, and out into the street. The bell rang. Chaos ensued. I cornered her attacker. I was enraged, furious that one human being could be so cruel to another. I wanted to lay her out flat. She was twice my size.

I spoke, choosing the mildest words I could manage, given how I felt. I told her that sometimes she acted like a complete asshole! I didn’t care whether what I said was appropriate. I was angry and fed up with the abuse Kennie suffered day after day. I was at a loss as to how to help her. What I saw, however, triggered in me tremendous emotional pain, pain buried deep in my psyche, pain I could not forget.

I Was Outnumbered

It was 1972. Patched bell bottoms were the uniform. Boys’ sneakers, army jackets, and skin-tight tops were the rage. The social dress code forbade white socks. My mother, like most mothers, had set ideas on how a girl should dress. My teenage self believed that her ideas were far from fashionable. My wardrobe did not include the grungy, tie-dyed, patched clothing of the times. Some well-meaning aunts would give me bags of outdated clothes they had tired of or outgrown. Consequently, my dress was quite out of style.

One day, I was walking to the store in my 50s-style hot pink stretch pants, white socks, and girls’ sneakers. Then I saw them up ahead. Immediately, fear penetrated my soul. Pride kept me from running. They had been taunting me for weeks. There were five of them. There was an obvious ringleader. She was huge and appeared to be a few years older than I. “Hey, fag! Hey, fag with the white socks!”

The next thing I remember, I was surrounded. She was screaming something at me. She wanted to fight. I wouldn’t. I didn’t know how. There was no escape. I was outnumbered. The slap across my face stung. Angry and humiliated, I swore at her. There was no thought, just reaction. At that moment, the crowd parted. A friend and neighbor from across the street saw what was happening and summoned her older brother to help. They provided for my escape. The girls never bothered me again. I would be eternally grateful for this act of kindness.

That memory of cruelty and abuse, compounded by many, many others witnessed in the classroom over the years, compelled me to search for a deeper understanding of who I am, what I believe in, and how I could act on those beliefs. Thus emerged my philosophy.

Children are born with a wisdom waiting to unfold and manifest itself in personality. That personality, however, is directed by the environment in which the child lives. I believe that whether personality traits, strengths, and weaknesses take a positive or negative path, whether children reach their potential or not, depends on the children’s environment.

Once children have internalized the education provided by their environment, their behavior becomes set in patterns of reaction and response to that environment. This is why self-knowledge with an understanding of the origins of our attitudes, beliefs, and prejudices is necessary before we can change what isn’t working for us in relationships and consciously keep what does work.

Self-awareness and Empowerment

Only when the Kennies of the world can look at themselves, their behavior, their body language, and their appearance with insight and awareness can they begin to understand what they need to do to change from being a victim to being an empowered self.

When people are empowered, they free themselves from the victim role. They are no longer victims or oppressors. They are clear, focused, and centered in the strength of who they are.

We, as teachers of our children and our students, need an awareness of how our environment (media, culture, family values) shapes the way we think and feel. Once we have that awareness, it is our responsibility to educate our children. The alternative is to act blindly on impulses, feelings, and belief systems that have no known source or purpose.

Our culture, the media, and our individual family values have an impact on how we think.

Before they are two years old, children are aware of racial differences. By the age of three, they may attach value judgments to those differences. Between the ages of four and six, they show gender-stereotyped behaviours, and may reject children who differ from themselves in terms of race or physical disability.

How do stereotypes come about at such an early age? The first influences are the attitudes of immediate family members, often acquired unconsciously. Later, children absorb stereotypical messages from books, television, movies, magazines and newspapers.

– Susan Fountain, Education for Development

Scientific evidence presents a convincing argument that heredity and genetics play a major role in who we are. Studies also indicate, however, that our environment has an impact on how we develop. It is only when we are aware of this “conditioning” that we can act to change it.

Children are perceptive beings. If adults engage them in discussion of the conditions in their environment which affect the way they think and feel, children can learn to act rather than to react.

We adults are very aware and lament the negative influence that environmental factors such as the media and the commercial market are having on our children. It is important that we pass this awareness on to our children.

We should point out those things in the environment that condition children to accept stereotypes and bigotry, that desensitize them to violence and vulgarity, and that create in them reactive, inappropriate, emotional responses. Awareness and knowledge give them the power to make proactive decisions.

Developmentally appropriate conflict resolution solutions! Get this Book Now! A unique approach to helping ourselves and our children deal with conflict Get Susan Fitzell’s book now. Don’t waste any time Free the Children, Conflict Education for Strong, Peaceful Minds Bring Susan to your campus! Featured seminar – Bullying: Choices and Consequences

[/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container]

The post Words that screamed, "I AM A VICTIM!" appeared first on Susan Fitzell.

Teaching point of view to young students

When considering  teaching peaceful classroom or conflict resolution skills to preschoolers, the most important developmental aspect to keep in mind is that they are unable to see another person’s point of view.

They are very egocentric. They have, however, a natural developmental capacity for empathy that needs to be allowed to flourish.

Have you had the experience of sharing stories in circle time with preschoolers and one child had a sad story to tell? Maybe his dog died and he started to cry. The next thing you know, several children are crying inconsolably. What happened? Empathy happened.

Preschoolers have the emotional ability to pick up on the feelings of other children and to match them to their own. If, in a given situation, they cannot do this, it is often because they do not have the vocabulary for the emotion. They cannot identify with the feeling if they cannot label it.

Therefore an excellent tool to use with preschoolers is one of those posters with all the labeled ‘emotion’ faces.  Children can spot how they’re feeling on the poster. You can give them the name for the emotion. As they develop a vocabulary for their emotions, they are able to empathize with that emotion.

You can find a Moodz Poster by clicking on the link.

Developmentally appropriate conflict resolution solutions! Get this Book Now! A unique approach to helping ourselves and our children deal with conflict Get Susan Fitzell’s book now. Don’t waste any time Free the Children, Conflict Education for Strong, Peaceful Minds Bring Susan to your campus! Featured seminar – Bullying: Choices and Consequences

[/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container]

The post Teaching Point of View to Young Students appeared first on Susan Fitzell.

Using music to teach peace.

Use music to teach concepts of peace, cooperation, and sharing. Make music a part of every day. Preschoolers love music. It is amazing how much they can learn from the music that they listen to.

When my daughter was 18 months old, I discovered Brite Music). Brite Music has a tape called Safety Kids that teaches children safety rules, including their telephone number and what to do if they are lost in a store.

By the age of 2 ½, my daughter could sing her phone number. When we’d go to the mall, I would ask her what she should do if she got lost. She could tell me. She learned through the music. Consider how children learn their ABC’s. Look at the power of music and jingles in commercials. Music makes an impression that is remembered.

I highly recommend Brite Music. My favorite Brite Music tape is Someone Special You. This tape not only has a message for children, it has a message for all of us. Songs like “I Made A Mistake” (mistakes are for learning), “Think, Feel, Do Polka,” and “I Can Choose The Things I Think” are empowering and uplifting.

Another excellent tape is Teaching Peace by Red Grammer. Although this tape is a bit worldly for this age group, some of the songs relate to children and their feelings. Others relate to world concepts. It is positive music that introduces concepts of peace and world ‘oneness.’ Developmentally, it’s a little above preschoolers, but I think it still has value.

For more on Motivating Students, Get the book today! Bring Susan to your campus! How Can School & Home Develop Motivation and Success for Youth? Give your students the priceless gifts of empowerment, accountability, and motivation to tackle any learning challenge. Learn practical strategies today and implement them in your curriculum tomorrow. Bring Susan to your campus! Featured seminar – How Can School & Home Develop Motivation and Success for Youth?

[/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container]

The post Using Music to Teach Peace appeared first on Susan Fitzell.

Ten Ideas to Help Youth Learn More About Cyberbullying

1. Have students research the problem: Ask students to spend 30 minutes online to obtain a better understanding of what cyberbullying is. Chances are, many students have been victims or perpetrators of cyberbullying without even knowing. Discuss each student’s findings as a class.

2. Interview experts: Through the class discussion, develop questions about cyberbullying that your students want answered. Find a few cyberbullying experts online and drop them an email with the class’ questions. Then, discuss their answers.

3. Create informative posters: Ask students to design and create posters about the consequences of cyberbullying and how to deal with it. Not only will making the posters be a learning experience for the students involved, they can be displayed throughout your school and help educate other students as well.

4. Develop a website or blog: If you have a website for your classroom or subject area, add some information about cyberbullying. Otherwise, create your own cyberbullying resource page for students in your classroom or school to help students who may be victims of such bullying.

5. Have students mentor younger students: Ask your students to work together to create a presentation about cyberbullying to present to younger students. Ask students to share their own experiences with cyberbullying and to include ideas about how to stay safe online. This will help not only your students, but many others as well.

6. Ask students to write a letter: As a homework assignment or in-class project, have students write a short letter to the editor of your local paper expressing their concerns about cyberbullying and asking adults to take the problem seriously.

7. Create a public service announcement: As a class, work together to write and act out a short PSA about the consequences of cyberbullying. Film the skit and post it on the school’s website or show it at an assembly.

8. Educate your students on your school’s bullying policies: Ask students if they think the policies are strict enough and if they think they do enough to protect students from cyberbullying. If students think changes should be made, encourage them to talk to school officials.

9. Design a bumper sticker: As a homework assignment, ask students to design a bumper sticker that sends an important message about cyberbullying and its effects. Choose a winning design and display it throughout the school. Depending on your resources, bumper stickers of the winning design could be made and distributed to students and parents.

10. Write your own cyberbullying handbook: Assign different topics on cyberbullying- such as its dangers and what to do if you are a victim- to each student and ask them to write a few paragraphs on the subject along with an illustration or computer clip art. Then, put each student’s piece together to create your classroom’s very own cyberbullying handbook.

(Adapted from “Activities for Teens: Ten Ideas for Youth to Educate their Communities about Cyberbullying” by Sameer Hinduja, Ph.D. and Justin W. Patchin, Ph.D. at the Cyberbullying Research Center)

Developmentally appropriate conflict resolution solutions! Get this Book Now! A unique approach to helping ourselves and our children deal with conflict Get Susan Fitzell's book now. Don't waste any time Free the Children, Conflict Education for Strong, Peaceful Minds Bring Susan to your campus! Featured seminar – Bullying: Choices and Consequences

[/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container]

The post Ten Ideas to Help Youth Learn More About Cyberbullying appeared first on Susan Fitzell.

Discipline for Preschoolers

I found it frustrating when, after I had used all the ‘right’ words in disciplining my preschool children, one of them would say, “I was bad.” Often they needed a hug afterwards to reassure them that they were still loved.

I remember a school of thought that preached, “If you hug children after they have been disciplined, it undoes the discipline. You’ll spoil them.” I disagree! A hug can be accompanied with, “I still love you. I just don’t like what you did.” It is best to specifically describe the unacceptable behavior. Many times, my children’s understanding of what they did wrong was totally different from mine.

Rules

Children of this age are conscious of rules and see them as sacred and untouchable, although they may not always follow them. They obey rules out of a fear of punishment or a fear of losing someone’s love and support.

When they disobey, it is often because they are in the moment, following their impulses and curiosities. They do not have the cognitive ability to analyze consequences of their behavior ahead of time. Preschool children have difficulty seeing cause and effect. It is hard for them to understand how their behavior affects other people.

They often cannot predict what impact their actions might have on someone and, once they have acted, may be unable to look back and connect the behavior to the consequence. They also have extreme difficulty explaining why they did something. They truly don’t know. It is better not to ask. Asking “Why?” is an exercise in futility.

When a rule is broken, it is the size of the consequence, not the intention of the rule breaker that is important to preschool children. They are very literal and concrete. If someone steps on a child’s toy and breaks it, it is the broken toy that is focused on, not the intent of the person who stepped on it.

Whether the toy got broken accidentally or intentionally, the toy’s owner will react the same. Conceptually, “He did it on purpose” or “It was an accident” are not clear statements to the preschooler. The vocabulary in itself is problematic for preschoolers. My son would do something accidentally and tell me he did it on purpose. The concepts of ‘deliberation’ and ‘accidentality’ were too abstract for him.

Self-esteem

Preschool children want to be accepted, liked, and loved. Consequently, teachers and parents often hear (or see) from the child as a reaction to discipline, “You hate me!” Because children’s primary goal is to be loved, their reaction to disapproval of their behavior is to fear that love has been withdrawn.

For this reason, it is very important that children not be labeled ‘bad.’ “You are a bad girl” means to the preschooler, “You are not accepted” or “You are not loved”. Children aren’t bad; behavior is bad, and as such unacceptable. I cannot emphasize this distinction enough. Even if you are diligent about speaking to children about their behavior, reassuring them that they are OK and loved but that their behavior is not OK, children of this age will still have difficulty separating the two.

Excerpted from Free the Children by Susan Gingras Fitzell.

Developmentally appropriate conflict resolution solutions! Get this Book Now! A unique approach to helping ourselves and our children deal with conflict Get Susan Fitzell's book now. Don't waste any time Free the Children, Conflict Education for Strong, Peaceful Minds Bring Susan to your campus! Featured seminar – Bullying: Choices and Consequences

[/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container]

The post Discipline for Preschoolers appeared first on Susan Fitzell.