By Guest Blogger Anna Super
Projects, papers, and problem sets assigned by teachers are not the only school related skills that parents can work on with their children in the afternoon hours. Social skills can be as important to getting through the school day, and becoming a successful adult, as doing homework. However, many children don’t practice these social skills, in a structured fashion, outside of school . Students with learning disabilities such as those with nonverbal learning disorders, who need to take in all information verbally, and children with autistic spectrum disorders, in particular,can benefit from taking the time to dissect social situations. Here are two examples of social problems you can break down with your child to help them think about how they interact with others:
Empathy – Getting into another child’s shoes
If your child comes home and is upset about a social interaction with another student, take a moment to help him or her see things from the other person’s perspective. First, acknowledge your child’s side of the situation so they understand that they have a right to their feelings. Then, when they are calm and feel validated, talk about what the other child may have been feeling during the interaction. Ask your child how they might feel if they were in the shoes of their classmate and why that student might have reacted the way they did. Your child might feel sympathetic to the other child, or they may still feel that they were in the right, but will understand why the disagreement occurred and will be able to handle the next conflict better.
Social Reciprocity – If you want a friend, you have to be a friend,
Children will often try to make friends by being funny or acting out at school and expect that behavior to make them popular with their peers. Other times, they may choose another student at school with qualities they like and admire and try to engage that student in their own interests, and only their own interests. At any age, it is true that we all want to talk about ourselves, what we are interested in, and what we think is funny. Think about the people you automatically like right away. Did they ask you about your life and seem interested in hearing your stories? Next time someone takes interest in your child’s life talk to him or her about it afterwards. How did it make them feel to have someone interested in them? Did they enjoy talking with that person and want to talk to them again? Does your child think other people would like to be around him or her if they asked about other people and really listened to what they said before talking about themselves?
Keep both of these points in mind and work on them each time similar social situations come up.