Stop Conflict in its Tracks!

Stop Conflict in Its Tracks!

Anytime two or more people work together, there is the possibility of conflict.  So it is not surprising that conflicts can easily arise in the paraprofessional-teacher relationship.  Still, while conflicts may be commonplace, many people are unsure of how to deal with them.  How can one handle that conflict in a constructive way?  How can one manage the relationship so that both can work together without offending or hurting each other?

Ways to Constructively Deal With Conflicts

1. Try to remember that that when in conflict, it is most often about personality.  The other person is not out to get you.

2. Change negative self-talk into positive self-talk.  Often times when we are in conflict, we are thinking things such as, “That person should know better,” or “I told her that she should do such and such, and she didn’t listen to me!”  These statements are negative self-talk and beget more negativity, anger and frustration in a conflict.

3. Once you can stop negative self-talk and begin using positive self-talk, you can start considering solutions to the problem.  Consider, for example, “Next time X happens…I’ll do Y or Z.”

4. Seek suggestions from a supportive colleague, or someone you know who really understands how to approach different personalities.  You will find that person by looking for someone who seems to be able to work with just about anyone and who has an amazing understanding of people.  Seek that person out and ask him or her how you might approach the problem.

5. Consider using “I” statements to share how you feel about a situation.  Avoid using the word “you” when communicating how you feel.  Be careful to avoid blaming language, and even if you believe the other person is wrong, find a way to approach the conversation from a positive perspective.

Excerpted from Paraprofessionals and Teachers Working Together by Susan Gingras Fitzell.


Paraprofessionals and Teachers Working Together

Practical Ideas and Strategies for Paraprofessionals and Those They Work With

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